Chat Poetry
I have been thinking of something to write all morning until I found this. This is the only poem, I have ever written*. This poem was detrimental for my future because my wife loved it. Just imagine the repercussion of writing something meaningful?
What sweet affliction time is doing to us,
Neither are you yourself anymore, nor have I remained myself anymore,
Our restless hearts met,
As if they were never apart,
And you've lost yourself, and so have I,
After walking together, for a couple of steps,
I am no sure where we are headed from here,
Though we have set off without a path,
And what we are in search of, we don't know,
Though our hearts are weaving dreams breath by breath,
That's what time has done to us...
My new found addiction is rediff chat. I was introduced to it by riggy. Apparently, he is really big out there and can pull a few strings**. While I had nothing to achieve this afternoon, I decided to log onto rediff chat. Barely, after riggy left me in the warmth of the afternoon, Footsie*** was teeming with emptiness. As I sat there in solitude waiting for my next victim and twiddling thumbs tolerantly, ragingbull38delhi**** arrived.
I: Hi ragingbull
It: Hi ahnooie
I: Are you a fan of Jake La Motta?
It: Wat?
I: J-A-K-E L-A M-O-T-T-A, A-R-E Y-O-U A F-A-N O-F H-I-M?
It: Wat?
I: Did you watch the movie?
It: Wat movie?
I: Raging Bull?
It: No
I: So what is the significance of Raging Bull in your nick?
It: Wat?
I: Ok.
It: Wat?
It: F?
I: U?
ragingbull38delhi has logged off chat.
The next one to arrive was AffectionNcare*****.
AffectionNcare enters our room.
I: Just like your mamma.
It: hi anoo
I: hi fec
It: how ar u
I: fin tank u
It: can v privat chat
I: F?
It: whr r u f
I: India
It: i too
It: r u marrid?
I: dosn't th ky 'e' on your kyboard work?
It: lol......no... ths is chat lingo
It: wht r ur hobbis?
I: Play real time characters of Jame Gumb, Max Cady, Alex De Large and Frank Booth.
It: who r thy?
I: Old time friends.
It: ok. can v go to privat room
It: i mak u cum
I: What's a private room?
It: only u n i can chat. no 1 can c
I: Including us?
It: lol...silly no. u funny boy... no 1 but us can c
I: Can't we just stick around and chat here?
It: no...i lik privat chats
I: Ok. Go ahead and create the room and give me the instructions to join your private room.
Atleast ten minutes passed after which, It told me how to get into a private room. The private room was christened "Frinds".
It: hai anoo
I: Hi fec
I: So, what do we do now?
It: chat
I: Ok. What do you want to talk about?
It: ***
I: I am not sure what you want to chat about.
It: ***
I: Can you please tell me what the password is?
It: wat password?
I: ***, what does it mean?
It: talk about ***
I: Do you have a decoder?
It: wat is dcodr?
I: Ok. Forget that. What do you want to chat about?
It: ***
By which time, both of us were frustrated for different reasons.
It: how big is u
I: 5' 11".
It: lol...lol...don't b silly... u cant b that big
I: I am, God's truth.
It: WOW
I: My father is bigger than me.
It: rally? WOWOW...
I: yes. So what is that you want to chat about?
It: u know want to ****?
I: What?
It: pls want to ****... i am along and want satisfacsion. cum pls...quickly
I: No, I am a guy.
AffectionNcare has logged off chat.
Yours higgledy-piggledy.
The events are all true. I have no made them up.
* Plagiarized.
** Introduce me to chat screen names, that we are both unsure of, especially about their sexual accouterments.
*** For the uninformed, it is your friendly neighborhood tooth fairy.
**** Chat ID has been altered for anonymity.
***** Chat ID has NOT been altered for originality.
*6 In an unrelated bit of trivia, the line, I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it, from the movie On The Waterfront is used in the Raging Bull.
What sweet affliction time is doing to us,
Neither are you yourself anymore, nor have I remained myself anymore,
Our restless hearts met,
As if they were never apart,
And you've lost yourself, and so have I,
After walking together, for a couple of steps,
I am no sure where we are headed from here,
Though we have set off without a path,
And what we are in search of, we don't know,
Though our hearts are weaving dreams breath by breath,
That's what time has done to us...
My new found addiction is rediff chat. I was introduced to it by riggy. Apparently, he is really big out there and can pull a few strings**. While I had nothing to achieve this afternoon, I decided to log onto rediff chat. Barely, after riggy left me in the warmth of the afternoon, Footsie*** was teeming with emptiness. As I sat there in solitude waiting for my next victim and twiddling thumbs tolerantly, ragingbull38delhi**** arrived.
I: Hi ragingbull
It: Hi ahnooie
I: Are you a fan of Jake La Motta?
It: Wat?
I: J-A-K-E L-A M-O-T-T-A, A-R-E Y-O-U A F-A-N O-F H-I-M?
It: Wat?
I: Did you watch the movie?
It: Wat movie?
I: Raging Bull?
It: No
I: So what is the significance of Raging Bull in your nick?
It: Wat?
I: Ok.
It: Wat?
It: F?
I: U?
ragingbull38delhi has logged off chat.
The next one to arrive was AffectionNcare*****.
AffectionNcare enters our room.
I: Just like your mamma.
It: hi anoo
I: hi fec
It: how ar u
I: fin tank u
It: can v privat chat
I: F?
It: whr r u f
I: India
It: i too
It: r u marrid?
I: dosn't th ky 'e' on your kyboard work?
It: lol......no... ths is chat lingo
It: wht r ur hobbis?
I: Play real time characters of Jame Gumb, Max Cady, Alex De Large and Frank Booth.
It: who r thy?
I: Old time friends.
It: ok. can v go to privat room
It: i mak u cum
I: What's a private room?
It: only u n i can chat. no 1 can c
I: Including us?
It: lol...silly no. u funny boy... no 1 but us can c
I: Can't we just stick around and chat here?
It: no...i lik privat chats
I: Ok. Go ahead and create the room and give me the instructions to join your private room.
Atleast ten minutes passed after which, It told me how to get into a private room. The private room was christened "Frinds".
It: hai anoo
I: Hi fec
I: So, what do we do now?
It: chat
I: Ok. What do you want to talk about?
It: ***
I: I am not sure what you want to chat about.
It: ***
I: Can you please tell me what the password is?
It: wat password?
I: ***, what does it mean?
It: talk about ***
I: Do you have a decoder?
It: wat is dcodr?
I: Ok. Forget that. What do you want to chat about?
It: ***
By which time, both of us were frustrated for different reasons.
It: how big is u
I: 5' 11".
It: lol...lol...don't b silly... u cant b that big
I: I am, God's truth.
It: WOW
I: My father is bigger than me.
It: rally? WOWOW...
I: yes. So what is that you want to chat about?
It: u know want to ****?
I: What?
It: pls want to ****... i am along and want satisfacsion. cum pls...quickly
I: No, I am a guy.
AffectionNcare has logged off chat.
Yours higgledy-piggledy.
The events are all true. I have no made them up.
* Plagiarized.
** Introduce me to chat screen names, that we are both unsure of, especially about their sexual accouterments.
*** For the uninformed, it is your friendly neighborhood tooth fairy.
**** Chat ID has been altered for anonymity.
***** Chat ID has NOT been altered for originality.
*6 In an unrelated bit of trivia, the line, I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it, from the movie On The Waterfront is used in the Raging Bull.
posted by qwerty at 11:08 AM
12 Comments:
Hola Qwerts,
Am at the airport cyber cafe and am unable to log in to rediff. Damn A.A.I Hyderabad Airport.
Anyhoo Ahnooie, they just called my flight. I thoroughlyenjoyed your post.
Whn can i mt your nw frinds like ragingbull and affctioncar. pls to mt thm soon and u hav a good tim on rdiff. okay by
hai bai
Also, pls hav lots of ***
haibai
Clarification r gndr in prvious post...chck.
qwrts do *** post *** *** potry. provs a firmly *** blif that good pros writrs can't *** to *** thir livs.
u'r boldly going *** chat pros don't vntur unlss *** ar looking *** *** - privat rooms. Brav ***. sp. *** riggah isn't *** to watch u'r tail.
riggah - clip m wings. stay *** a littl.
hoping to mt qwrts in footC soon
pc
If you can read this and have survived the flight journey, please continue...
hi Riggr 'e' no work,
It is a shame that you could not log onto rediff. I was on rediff at 1730 hours as promised after canceling a few meetings.
I am chatting with someone named lamp! who also comments on my blog with a name g.
Hope to catch you on rediff soon.
Sex is three characters, Wank is four . Please learn your spellings, rigger.
hi peccavi,
I am on Footsie. If you can read this, please log on.
Also, I didn't understand the rest of the words, except ***. Can you spell them right?
For everyone who does not realise it, the poem is not a poem at all but a song written by Kaifi Azmi and sung by Geeta Dutt
Waqt ne kiya kya haseen sitam
Tum rahe na tum ham rahe na ham
Waqt ne kiya…
My wife wanted me to write her a poem several years ago and given my ineptitude for writing romantic poetry, I picked a song and merely translated the lyrics. I think till this date my wife believes it is a true work of art. Ha-ha.
i DID come to footC...but got called away for something...an couldnt come back in time to chat u up...:( sigh...till next time
Hiya Qwerts,
I behaved like a complete shameless bastard, reached my friend's house and even before I could ask him how he was, I logged onto Rediff.
Air Sahara was wonderful and I got here without any mishaps. The only thing that had me on edge throughout the flight was the BO@Passenger on my right. It was quite ghastly and for most of the flight I wished that the cabin would de-pressurise and I would find safety in the oxygen mask. No such luck I'm afraid.
Anyhoo, Ahnooie, let me be polite and converse with my hosts. I will try and get online later. Serves Peccavi right for missing this convo too. Ha-Ha.
Yours sahara-jahan-se-achchaly,
PS. I hope you managed to get some *** or did you just **** off? **** me, these *'s are a bit sad.
hehe riggy - u jealous piggy...LOL
hi riggs,
I am glad you are alive and kicking. I had my entire family praying for you. Infact, I rang Air Deccan to find out about your safe landing and guess what their message said, Hello Citizens Of India And Some Neighboring Countries, Incase You Have Any Information About Crashin Landings Of Our Flights In Your Vicinity, Please Inform Us. We Will Reward You With A Free Journey For You And Family In Our Low-Cost, Easy-Death Economy Carrier. Do Not Be Surprised To Find A Flight Bound From Bangalore To Cochin Lying Haplessly In The Thar Desert. With Our Flights, Anything Can Happen. Fly Easy, Die Easy.
It was terribly boring to be on rediff. I think someone from Raksha Mantri - Shri Pranab Mukherjee's office seemed to have sparked off an argument on Pakistan Vs India and logged off. Everyone was going batty over the subject.
Someone asked me why was i-VTEC dissing Pakistan so much, to which, I said, It is a long story. Around the time India gained Independence, i-VTEC's mamma was living close to Sind. When the news came about the Partion of India and Pakistan, she understand the concept of Partion as; spreading her legs, which probably is responsible for his hatred. All I was doing was weaving a likely story. How would I know that's the truth?
Yours ignorantlyme.
hi rums,
Its been a long time since you have been on my blog. Hope all is well with you.
I think the expression is inserting spacebars into backspaces. The other way round might be a logistical problem, like trying screw a nutdriver?
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you came so highly recommended , I even logged in to rediff chat to accidentally err " bump" into you but alas... you were no where to be found!!!.
But I did find affection n care :0) and steered clear of that id!
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