What Dreams May Become

Yesterday night, my wife and i decided to go out for a quiet dinner. I have to admit it has been a very long time since we did that. We have been arguing too much over the last couple of months and it was time for some love talking.

Mission: Impossible IV: (Movie Spoiler Included)

Mission: Impossible IV is all set to ameliorate what Mission: Impossible, Mission: Impossible II and Mission: Impossible III have failed to deliver. This edition of the movie like all the earlier editions will be imbecilic and vapid and contain mindless action, sex and deception. As a second in command to Jean-Luc Godard who is absolutely excited about directing this fourth edition, I have some inside information.

• Yes, you have all guessed it right. The movie will be directed in French and dubbed and remade into several languages including Hindi. Our latest caped indigenous Superman Hritik Roshan will play the role of Tom Cruise. The movie title has been aptly changed to preraNa: asambhav saintaalis. Due to difficulties translating "Ethan Hunt" literally into Hindi, Hritik Roshan will be called Shikari Shambu. Search is on for the perfect dumb blonde.
  
  
• Philip Seymour Hoffman who was unheard of until Capote, atleast in India, has been voted indubitably to play the role of Ethan Hunt using the highly abused face masking technique though Godard has clearly instructed Hoffman to shake off a few calories and gain some height. This change has irked many movie aficionados and Cruise fans but Cruise was unavailable for a comment. He was apparently caught man serving Carrie-Anne Moss and his publicist in Tahiti.
  
  
• Yes it is true, there is some confusion about Philip Seymour Hoffman sharing the bed with Michelle Monaghan. This movie will also feature Ethan Hunt Jr., though movie critics believe Godard has plagiarised this idea from Face/Off. I heard Monaghan saying, I am never going to sleep with that fat bastard.
  
  
• The mystery about the "rabbit foot" continues. J.J. Abrams, the director of M:I 3, a devout Jew, in a private tête-à-tête has admitted the contraption (rabbit foot) contains, this is true, his father's testicles. Godard is going to officially replace the "rabbit foot" with "rabbit pearl". The Art Direction Department is currently working on design issues.
  
  
• The movie will also include some never seen footage of Ethan Hunt Jr. learning martial arts at Shaolin Temple Kung Fu School, Lake Wanaka. The entire movie is being shot in a desert keeping in view French hygienics.
  
  
• The film like always, will not contain a plot. Ethan Hunt will not be saving Americans from Aliens, Ultra-Violet Rays as a result of Ozone Depletion, Global Warming, Mars Attacks!, Jurassic Park, King Kong, Twelve Monkeys, Whoopi Goldberg or Six-headed Shaolin Monks. A fifth edition of the movie is still a distant dream.
  
  
• They have decided to discard Laurence Fishburne from the new edition. This is true, in an interview, on the subject of How will you ask Carrie-Anne Moss on a date? he said,
  
  Trinity, hear me! I have imagined this moment for a long time. Is it real? You have never believed in Me. I don't know what I can do to save us but I do know that as long as there is a single breath left in my body I will not give up.
  
  Believe me when I say we have a difficult time ahead of us. But if we are to be prepared for it, we must first shed our clothes. I stand here, before you now, truthfully unafraid. Why? Because I believe something you do not? No, I stand here without fear not because of the path that lies before me but because of the rabbit hole that lies behind me. Tonight, let us shake this cave. Tonight, let us tremble these halls of earth, steel, and stone, let us be heard from red core to black sky. Tonight, let us make a night together.
  
  No, what happened, happened and couldn't have happened any other way. All of our lives, we happened to fight everyone. Tonight I believe we can end it. Tonight is not an accident. There are no accidents. We have not come here by chance. I do not believe in chance. When I see you, I do not see coincidence, I see providence. I see purpose. I believe it our fate to be here. It is our destiny.
  
  Now consider the alternative. What if I am right? What if tomorrow we can consummate this relationship? Isn't that worth fighting for? Isn't that worth dying for? Given your situation, I can't say I fully understand your reasons for volunteering to rock on my boat. However, if you wish to continue to do so, I must ask you to do one thing. I want you to feel, smell, taste and see me, and not merely as simple electrical signals interpreted by your brain. I want you to remember the reason that we are here is because of our... affinity for disobedience.
  
  Have you ever had a dream, Trinity, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world? This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. I take the blue pill - the story begins here, we wake up in your bed and believe whatever we want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and live happily ever after with Neo.
  
  No. This is not another training program designed to teach you anything. Is it going to be Neo or me?
  
  
• Mike Myers was also considered for the roll of Ethan Hunt but after a rhubarb between the management and him on shredding his androgenic hair, he has returned to playing Shrek.
  
  
• The entire problem began with Tom Cruise's unavailably to partake in the fourth edition. He is currently living the life of a gigolo for his upcoming role in Classic Bamboo Cane.
  
  
• Apparently Danny DeVito was also considered to play the bad guy but due to cinematographic difficulties, he was shown the red card. Inside sources have it, Godard was unable to pan the camera onto Ethan Hunt and DeVito at the same time. Either Ethan's head or Vito's head, one of them kept disappearing.
  
  
• In an update, irrelevant to M: I 4, during the Hunt for the new James Bond, Tom Cruise was also considered. In a public statement, Harry Saltzman (of EON Productions fame) said, He Is Not Man Enough.

I hope Mission: Impossible IV will be just as invigorating as all its predecessor. I am so excited.

Yours bornonthefourthofjuly.