Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Dust to Disk, Bite to Byte

Wednesday is the first day of the weekend for all IT & BPO companies, by which, I mean, they spend all of Monday checking email and forwarding insignificant and purportless emails to our mail boxes. Tuesday is spent checking for movie tickets online and check fares for Happy Diwali 2007. And then, it is TGIW*.

I have in the past had the misfortune of interacting with IT professionals**. Not too long ago, I had to meet another big cheese*** from a bigwig IT megacorp. While I waited for BC to arrive

Salient Features****:

  • IT organizations around the world take great pains and spend millions of dollars on security*5, by which, I mean, everybody in the company sports ID tags. While the ladies hang these ugly plastic junk around their necks, it has been observed men store these cards in their wallets*6.
  • All IT professionals wear service uniforms*7 to work.
  • I spotted a guy who was wearing a dime-a-dozen hoodie, which read, I Love Albuquerque. He*8 was distributing Snickers bar miniatures, Hershey's sticks, Bubble yums, Jolly Rancher gummies and Twizzlers pull-n-peel candies.
  • I also spotted a woman in, this is true, a ball gown. She was also sporting a bindi, chudiyan and wearing jootis.

Finally BC arrived. I will reserve our conversations for another time.

Yours hardiskly.


* Thank God Imma Wastrel.

** the thing about IT professionals is, is they stand out in any crowd, by which, I mean, they are usually never allowed.

*** it is true, most IT professionals were originally hoteliers, defense personnel, accountants, biochemists and supervisors at tanneries, bottling companies or power plants. All current IT professionals NOW are Y2K compliant.

**** I could have 'prepared' a PowerPoint presentation too but I am afraid, it is not a viable option on blogspot.com.

*5 while companies ensure that with access cards and SEI CMM level 5 security, no employee or intruder runs away with, say, mouses, monitors, IBM mainframes and magnetic disk drives the size of a household almirahs, they encourage their employees to

  • chat on several chat sites and messengers;
  • access personal email;
  • listen to streaming music;
  • and view LIVE! webcam shows.

*6 while some men produce their wallets and shake it vigorously against the photoelectric sensors, others merely turnaround and raise their heinies.

*7 men wear t-shirts and jeans, half-sleeve shirts and khakis or polo shirts and formal trousers. The common-denominator is shoes; sneakers. The ladies wear anything from tie-dye t-shirts to wedding gowns. The odd guy comes into work in a Kalamkari print kurta and a Kangol hat.

*8 he was trying very hard to put on a Jalandhar Cantt.-Yank accent. The cost of owning all those chocolates is effectively cheaper than a cup of chai in Irani cafe. Also, wearing a hoodie in this weather puts anyone at a major health risk; dehydration and eventually death.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

sleep-walker here. i am in the Tata Indicab capital of India - Hyderabad. This city is one bizarre image of whirring cabs..carrying all the species you have mentioned, day and night and night and day and then some more. Carrying them to do what you have rather crisply described. When will it be apocalypse for the IT world?

9:30 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi sleep-walker,

I never knew that Hyderabad was the Tata Indicab capital of India.

Are BPOs also IT companies and if so, since when?

I can tell you about the apocalypse for a small amount, like always.

9:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you kidding? Hyd is teeming with little white beetles called Indicabs, rushing to and from call centres. And have you ever looked at the faces gazing out of windows thereof? It is that self-important look on those faces that bestows the coveted IT label on humble BPOs. Come on, charge big...post apocalypse...u can't charge even small amounts.

10:25 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi sleep-walker,

I DON'T know what BPO workers look like. While they are answering calls about How To Spin-Dry In Washing Machines and Temperature Settings In Microwaves, I am busy partying.

I can charge big, but can you pay?

10:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

someone just now on rediff said you are "too full of yerself". are you?

11:12 PM  
Anonymous Riggs said...

Are they talking about me again on Rediff?

12:52 AM  
Anonymous super said...

get me a job at one of those companies too, lots of messengers, live webcams, yeah and they these days pay good, give food to eat, pick and drop service *indicabs and qualis*, and yeah i found a used rubber in the elevator this morning. guess some dude did some extra work while finishing off the shift on way to the car park .. i guess sold a gold credit card or something.

12:57 AM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi super,

You want to be a gigolo?

10:27 AM  
Anonymous Sudha Prasanna said...

Hi,
What a write about the people in BPO's and IT Companies. And have you ever noticed that they are in their own world without knowing what happens in their neighbourhood or in their own houses. They know only to use Calculators, Swipe Cards, Credit cards and Debit cards.. Lot of them dont know how MS Word or MS excel works..I wonder if one day all these come to a stop how they will survive .
Becos of them in Bangalore everything is costlier from the rent to the plants we purchase.
GOD SAVE THEM!!!!

2:48 PM  
Anonymous super said...

the people at BPO still work.. neways they have to , we dont have that many conventional jobs to offer.. they work for themselves.. they aint that bad.. and most BPOs people wud know better excel than all the people here.. they live on it ..

1:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi super,

aila! why are you sounding so indignant? Indeed, people at BPOs work..I get at least three calls a day asking me an assortment of qs...ranging from whether i like carrots to whether i want to take a killer loan...indeed, they work.

5:16 PM  

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