Friday, July 28, 2006

Yes, (Prime) Minister

My wife promised me last night that she will not initiate any arguments until my birthday. I think that is just NOT* terrific.

Last night, I was watching some movie when a friend of mine called and asked me to tune into NDTV The X-Factor**. They were covering India's biggest security breach since Babur***.

Events:

  • Appranetly smoe kdis deicded to vsiit teh pirme miintser atfer dnnier to disucss Foriegn Dricet Inevtsmnet.
  • They were in a black Sonata****, named Sheila Dikshit, Prathiba Singh and Jagdish Tyler.
  • After passing through the first gate, the car was stopped for no apparent reason*5.
  • The car was then stopped by NDTV crew, which asked a whole lot of dumb questions*6.
  • Sheila Dikshit then replied with some dumb answers*7.
  • Now, all of them have lost their cabinet ministries for some kids from Air Deccan*8 named Yogita, Veena and Imran*9.
  • The spokesperson of the PM was heard saying, it was not a security breach, it was just some of our Indian National Congress leaders visiting him at odd hours. This sort of an oddity is common at His, PM's 7, Race Course residence. It has been observed that, at times, greyhounds, rabbits and draft horses are found racing across the quarters though there is NO physical evidence, so far.
  • Bharatiya Sena has now deployed the Jat Regiment and Punjab Regiment around His house. This was an idea proposed by the Intelligence*10 of our country.
  • The artillery deployed at His residence includes 17 Carl Gustavs, 3 T-90 tanks, 1 Sherman M4 and several Agni's. When questioned, someone from the PMO's office said, we just beefed up security to stop any trespassers.
  • Incase anybody wants to meet the PM, any Indian citizen or Italian, please send in an email to primeminister@indiannationalcongress.gov.nic.pic.edu.in *12. There is a HUGE backlog of requests to meet the PM. So, inconveneence is regritted.

Yours PranabMacherjee.


* I can't walk away in a huff from the bedroom and sneak into the study and turn on my computer. I will be compelled to stay in the bedroom and watch re-runs of Fauji. No excuses.

** It is not based on The X-Files though they keep showing Rupert Murdoch's face very often. It is a horror show.

*** He is the son of Genghis Khan from Sogdiana and Ahmad Shah Abdali. He also brought to India, Conversion By The Sword Theory, by which, I mean, circumcision.

**** Korean crap. It probably has the worst name in the history of car making. Imagine meeting a business partner and saying, Yeah, I drive a Sonata. They also managed to copy the Jaguar grille without much ado. And, Jaguar can't be bothered. Ha-ha.

*5 Though the car was holding substantial amount of Pentaerythritol Tetranitrate, the security let them through because, the security obviously did not know what Pentaerythritol Tetranitrate was.

*6 Why do you want to see the President? Did you not know that our Prime Minister after 1930 hours disrobes his turban? Did you not know PM's residence is a high-security zone?

*7 We did not know that we are not allowed to meet the PM after 1730 hours. We were just swinging by his place with a couple of cold beers and stopped by to check if he was home. We were surprised that the security didn't stop us. What's wrong with meeting the PM? Isn't he the same guy elected by the people, for the people?

*8 Rigg's (my friend) preferred mode of transport. Getting jacked while flying Air Deccan is commonly known as a "Flying Fcuk". Just because he loves AD so much, he has traveled to places such as Aizwal, Bhavnagar, Dibrugarh, Jamnagar, Rajahmundry, Silchar, Tuticorin and Siachen Glacier. He really likes living on the edge. In an exclusive update, AD is now the second biggest domestic death toll ringer in the India. Thank you and Namashkar.

*9 Everyone is saying, they are somewhat better looking than SD, JT and PS. Also, Imran, like always has been suspected to be the main culprit. The intelligence of our country is busy trying to link him up with either SIMI or Lashkar-e-Toiba.

*10 They believe this is a common camouflage technique adopted by many armies. To have 4000 Manmohan Singh look alike(s) at one gathering will confuse Giuseppe Zangara from taking aim at MS.

*11 Indian soldiers are commonly known as Jawans except in Tamil Nadu because they do not understand Hindi. It is not a bigoted view.

*12 From: MAILER-DAEMON at primeminister@indiannationalcongress.gov.nic.pic.edu.in

13 Comments:

Blogger GhostOfTomJoad said...

It's extremely curious...

(i)Just what made these three people decide to pay our PM a visit?

(ii)How and why they were allowed in?

6:03 PM  
Anonymous Riggs said...

Dear Ghost,

I think this confusion stems from a pub called 10 Downing Street :-(Available in Hyderabdad, Pune, Chennai, Goa and Vizag. For more details please log on to www.10ds.net).

The kids thought 7 Race Course Road was a pub too and went to get some more drinks.

Ahn, I hope you don't mind I took the liberty of answering the first question. You may answer his second query as you know the sceurity. I am told you live at 6 Race Course Road. I shall respond later, after I am back from the Pub. And no, I am not visiting the YSR Reddy's residence.

8:24 PM  
Blogger GhostOfTomJoad said...

One, I'm not sure they're "kids" and, two, contrary to what the initial reports suggested, they were stone sober!

Hell, next time I'm in Pune, I'm making a trip to this pub...I'm sure I can do with whatever it is they serve there :-)

11:20 PM  
Anonymous peccavi said...

stoned but sober? mebbe that's why they ventured where only the eye-talian mafia dares venture. too sleepy...will write more some other time...

3:27 AM  
Anonymous love to all. said...

Dear Riggs...

I want to know how Pune deserves the right to have a pub, that too named 10 Downing Street. Since when did Pune become a happening place?

Maybe the kids also thought that they would be part of some Godfather (in Hindi) movie, so wanted to try their luck.

Sheeshh drunk from birthday celebrations. Just ordered another Jim Beam.

9:09 AM  
Anonymous peccavi said...

hhheeeeyyyy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

Have a wonderful day!!!

10:40 AM  
Anonymous peccavi said...

baaah....just didnt know enuff html to change colour/size etc....sigh

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Relax! guys , there wasn't any security lapse .They only reached ... the reception area.(Baru ,29.7.06)
The point u guys missing here is ..Why did Sahara dropped them?
(1) Guilty till proven innocent?
(2)When PMO's saying there wasn't any lapse , they didn't do any crime , nothing wrong there , just 3 drunk kids wanted to meet PM , then what's the *prob* with Sahara ppl?
"Sahara not giving *sahara* to their own ppl"?
:)

12:11 PM  
Blogger RUMS said...

I don't think 10 Downing Street's in Chennai... :O...

1:43 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi anonymous,

The guy in the car was not working with Air Sahara. The girls were kicked out, primarily for bad looks, bad English grammar and driving a car named Sonata.

I am sure there is nothing wrong with nothing wrong there , just 3 drunk kids wanted to meet PM.

Hoardings by RTA: Drink Well Before You Drive

2:16 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi rums,

Neither do I think there is a 10 Downing Street in Chennai. Isn't it in Motherwell?

2:19 PM  
Anonymous Riggs said...

Well, if there isn't one in Chennai, there will be one very soon. Bikes and Barrels better watch out.

11:17 PM  
Anonymous buy sex toys said...

great post

1:24 AM  

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