Wednesday, September 06, 2006

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Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse or How I Managed to Nail My Sheband, Ouch!:

Husband:

  • He is spending more time in the restroom than in the bedroom
  • He hasn't told you about his new playmates Sydnee Steele's Cyberskin Dual Entry Pet Mousse and Chelsea Sinclaire's Sweet Secret Intimiate Passage
  • He knows his hand like the back of his plam
  • You notice his pecs, lats, triceps and biceps are more prominent than the rest of his body
  • He replaces the Nivea with Jergens
  • The Hand That Rocks The Cradle is a COOL movie
  • He calls himself "Fast Hand Is Still My First Name"
  • Handycam means spending hours together in solitude on the internet
  • He would rather celebrate Palm Sunday than Valentine's Day
  • He would much rather shake to Chucky Berry's My Ding-A-Ling-A-Ling than jive to Billy Gilman's Little Bitty Pretty one
  • And finally, he thinks a lesbian with fat fingers is well hung.

Wife:

  • I have little or no information about cheating patterns among wives. I would like everybody to fill this space.

Yours drillmates.

25 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The computer screen makes her smile and not the flowers you got!

3:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and ... May be when she buys you a laptop so her online time is not wasted.

3:41 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi anonymous,

I JUST managed to figure out what you were talking about. For a moment, I thought they were cryptic clues to a treasure down under.

3:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh Heh MrQ,

That reminds me of this time when a lass from Oz asked me on Rediff if I had ever been Down Under. 'Many times', I shrieked, 'Just not to Australia'

I shall comment on this blog at a later time, if you don't mind.

5:46 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi riggy,

Please do at any time. I would never stop you.

So, where were you? Indira Point, Great Nicobar?

6:36 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi rums,

Exactamundo.

2:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi Q,
Well another cute writeup..
Well I dont have any intentions to go and sleep with any other person rather than my husband..
But i need to accept the fact that i love so many people other than my husband too dear!!!!
Well i love u also for the way u write!!! Hehehehehe

3:43 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi SP,

There is a theory on loving and love making. It says, love making is a lesser sin compared to loving. So, may be you should let me use my stylus.

I love you too, for semimental reasons.

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL
I admit I had forgotten just how funny you are:0)
glad I "re-discovered" you, err your blog!

1:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Q
Love making is a lesser sin than loving --- but u never mentioned how many??!!!

You love me for sentimental reasons!!! Sounds interesting... Can I know one of them please

10:22 AM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi kaluha,

And here I was suffering from trepidation wondering where you have disappeared.

10:41 AM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi SP,

As many as you can accommodate and as long as you practice safe sex.

Listed are reasons for loving you:

1. The squint in your eyes
2. The way your hair falls after you had a head bath
3. Your ungainly perambulation
4. Your chiseled features by an amateur artist

Oh there are plently, SP. I could tell you many when you and I meet in your love shack.

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sigh!!

sd/- sleep-walker

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Q,
Well let me think over how many i can accomodate and have safe sex!!!
Anyway not thinking about it right now ... Becos am satisfied with my husband right now!!!!
Regarding the reasons for falling in love with me!!!
1) I am not squint eyed
2) I dont have a long hair so there is no question of my hair falling
3) Nothing to comment .. becos i hardly understood wat u meant by that he he he!!!!
4) Chiseled features - I dont have any either

So best of luck for you to meet me !!!!!

2:08 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi sleep-walker,

What are you sighing about?

Do tell me. On Tuesdays, I address domestic issues.

2:16 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi SP,

You are a hard knut to crack.

I think I confused you with my wife, sugar tush.

I am wary of meeting any woman who says Best of Luck before the rendezvous.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

do I need a reason to sigh...it is a free-wheeling, stand-alone sigh. jlt sigh :+

On tuesdays, i kick people.

sleep walker

5:44 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi sleep-walker,

You may kick me but the only trouble with that is I WANT MORE!

7:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ur tush maange more? ok...i am game for it...will extend my tuesday into wed thu...from sleep-walker with love

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Q,
Thanx for the response which i hardly was able to understand....
Anyway expecting a quick blog from u......

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

see, i am not the only one who does not understand ur responses! Ask SP.

SW

12:59 PM  
Blogger qwerty said...

hi SW,

SP went to The School For Exceptions. Do you want to, too?

4:37 PM  
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